The Big Why

Well partly because I just don't want just anyone being able to view or download photos of my children.  Or use my possible personal information included in my Bio page.  The second reason is has to do with not wanting my mother to be a part of my or my children's lives.  My sound harsh and I have my reasons.  I have written about my childhood and part of my adulthood interactions with her in a "tribute". (This is not what you expect it to be, but is my memoir of my life with her in it through my eyes.)

Tribute to my Mother

    Then well it grew from there over an interaction between my grandmother and the mother of our children.  The conversation started out innocently while Allison was using the computer while I was away at work and I had forgotten my messenger up telling my grandmother I was at work.  They continued to have a conversation; most of it was related to Allison having to have been a great person being with someone who had lost someone as significant as my wife four years earlier.  How she must be a really special person to me as well.  My grandmother being into genealogy had asked Allison about family name and relations and it seemed like a completely normal conversation until...

    My grandmother asked Allison to send her some pictures of our son.  I had already stated to my grandmother that when I was ready I would send some out not within a day or two before.  I figured already that it would be a futile effort as far as my mother went, once this hit the Brigham family that copies would be made and sent to her regardless of how my feelings went.  However I figured for Christmas I would send out some DVD photo slideshows.  Allison stated to her that she felt that I really should be the one sending photos out to my family members and she should bring that up with me.  When I got home I saw the conversation and I was appalled and the scope my grandmother’s complete personality change and attacked her.  The scope ranged from calling her family and the other islanders all inbred, Allison being weak, to going to speaking of how we was hurting our baby by this.  Then the conversation turned to getting lawyers and having rights and a load of ranting and of course turning allot to the real heart of the matter of my mother and her first grandchild.  I just decided fuck it, fuck them.  That family has a lot of dark little secrets, but basically there have been rampant physical, verbal, and sexual abuses through out the generations I have nothing to do with now.  The abuses/neglect from my childhood is not a stress I need to subject myself or my now sons.  There is no way would I trust them outside of my site in fear of something possible happening to them. 

   I am not too concerned.  In the seven years I have lived on these two islands has anyone outside my grandmother. My grandmother lives a 3.5 hour drive to New Hampshire . This one time she was an hour away visiting my mother and told me she was coming to visit.  I was surprised but I took the day off from work and even walked down the road and take a photo of the blind curve I lived on.  Put notes on the picture indicating my drive so she didn't come unto it suddenly.  Well I waited and waited around no show, but I did finally find out what happened to her to days later, she went home. I guess she didn't think of calling me.  Oh I stand corrected I recently got allot of nice emails from my aunt Audrey , and then ignored after I didn't issue her an id/password.  Then recently I contacted a cousin via "Myspace" (YUCK), When I logged in a few days later to see if a few folks I found on there had missed "the contacting me via email due distaste for that website”, I had 15 friend requests (mostly bots) all of a sudden after I had gone 5-6 months with none and it kind pissed me off so I selected all and denied.   Well that also contained the aunt that started ignoring my email after I didn't give her the id/pass she asked for.  I got a loud angry email because I had offended her.  I responded that people should feel free to have contact with me use my email; I don't want to deal with myspace.  She had she didn't know much about my childhood, but would listen and respect my views and I shouldn't take my issues with my mother out on them being the members of her family I denied.  Figured she was serious that she wanted to know and would respect my views of my childhood and why I was this way with my mother and I gave the link to the tribute I wrote for my mother.  It was followed by another even angrier response that at times I had to chuckle about because some of the statements was so absurd obviously written while pissed off and talking about things with totally ignorant/distorted facts.  It’s very similar to the type of behavior I have seen first hand out of my grandmother, my mother, and her sister Audrey now via email.

    That's the short version of why I restricted sections of my website.   Perhaps someday I will post public more of my memories from my childhood and family relations once I have completed writing/proofing more of them.    

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